My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
