I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize