I skipped work to stalk him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
