4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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