My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
