Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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