1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
