saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
