we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
