Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
