it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
