Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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