I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize