how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
