Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
