that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
