He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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