i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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