Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
