haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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