I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
