apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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