i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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