PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
