i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
