real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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