so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Even my vagina gasped.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
