ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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