on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
