Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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