So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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