she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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