May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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