Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
