well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
