i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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