I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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