all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
