Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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