My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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