apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
