i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize