I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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