He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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