So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
