So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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