did you get engaged???
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
