I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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