been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
