Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
