3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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