it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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