I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
