This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
