i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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