You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
