so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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