Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
