Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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