I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
