Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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