so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She's JV to your varsity
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
