You made me cry and you don't even care
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
