Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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