in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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