Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
