She said her name was "party"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
