What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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