somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
