tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize