using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
