So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
