I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How's work?
Spinning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
