Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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